When is the pain too much?

Watching him gag to withhold the puke.

He sweats, clears the phlegm.

He blows his nose.

Deep breaths

In out, in out.

Sigh.

Back to our conversation.

He apologizes for being gross

As we share another story from the joys of our childhood.

Another five minutes of talk,

Serious and fun,

Tears and laughter.

The gagging returns.

I pause

Waiting for him to clear the pain again.

I finish my lunch.

He gets a box to eat later

Unable to ingest at this time.

We decide on a fresh air walk.

Outside he can ack and spit

Rather than gag and swallow puke.

He holds on to be with family and friends.

His time is all he has to gift to others.

He manages his misery to be with us.

When will the pain be too much?

When will he no longer be available to offer his gift of love and companionship?

How much time remains for us to share?

I cry

                                                Wade McJacobs

                                                November 2025